The Bickering Sort
by iminyourimagination
Summary: Ron and Hermione. Bickering. need i say any more? quite funny in a way, but you'll see soon enough...


Ron was pacing up and down the landing outside Ginny's room and running a hand through his hair. Hermione was looking at him angrily from the corner and Mr. Weasley, who walked past them in the hall holding a huge glass of purple liquid, looked up at his son from a book on muggle contraptions and rolled his eyes, walking off wearily.

'Honestly, Ronald, the whole world isn't going to end just because Ginny asked Harry to go into her room.' Hermione said crossly, folding her arms.

'And your _constant scrutiny_ wont help either. You've been asking me all sorts of questions in a patronising matter all day! _Are you sure them being together is a bad thing?...why are you being so fussy?...why cant you stop fretting over them!_' he said in a high-pitched voice, then paused and glanced towards the stairs again. 'My sister's _bedroom_ is just there, Hermione!'

'oh, thank you, captain obvious! Yes, it's there! Along with everyone elses! Don't you ever consider the more positive or less _concerning_ option?' Hermione's voice, as it always did when in a scrat at Ron, began to rise and become rather shrill. Ron stopped pacing for a second and hissed 'there you bloody well go again!' and shot daggers at her though his eyes.

'you _know_ that he split up with her for a reason,'

he began to pace again 'and that broke her heart. If she thinks he's going to start it up all over again and he denies it, then she's going to be in peices!' Ron yelled at Hermione. He didnt care about the fact that he made a resolution NOT to shout at her, as it suggested in his _twelve safe ways to charm witches _book, because he was enjoying it too much in a synical way, since they were disgussing, or more squabbling over the problem of Harry and Ginny's relationship.

'Do you honestly think she _would _ think he'd start it up again? She may be a year younger than you, Ronald, but by god she's not thick! Do you know how she feels? Do you know how _he_ feels?'

'and again! I swear, one more scrutinising-'

'Well, they're probably doing nothing of the _sort_, Ronald!' Hermione scowled, getting extremely tetchy now. They hadn't rowed like this in a while now. Mr and Mrs. Weasley had noticed that, over the space of time that Hermione had been staying with them, their youngest son had always acted rather differently towards her every time, even warmed towards her, until now, when things seemed to be going back to what was frequently reffered to as _normal_: the two of them shreaking their heads off at each other. The first thing Molly thought as they stepped off the train with Hermione beside them for the first time, she knew that, if they stayed friends, one of them would fall for her. _Eventually_, at least.

'well, what are they doing then, little miss _I-know-too-much-and-one-day-my-head-will-implode_?'

'Harry's probably just... talking.' Hermione was clutching at straws now, and beginning to fiddle with her own hair. 'about _what_, exactly, the _view_? Honestly, Hermione, he's not that boring.' Ron said blandly. 'they're probably in there right now, going at it-'

'Ronald!' Hermione cried and walked up to him briskly.

'what, and you think they're not, Hermione?' they were now face to face, hands on hips, faces contorted with rage. Ron's first thought was that she looked quite attractive, but he snapped out of it quickly. She was one his best friends, and he knew that it wasnt the time to start seeing her in that way. Especially now that they were discussing someone elses current relationship faults. It was too fun to back down now.

'It's his seventeenth birthday, for goodness sake!' Hermione stood on her tiptoes, ready to throttle him, and by the way this was going, she would if he didnt watch it. He thought for a moment that she was going to kiss him, but then he realised that she probably wouldnt do anything of the sort right now. She hadnt kissed him before in mid argument.

'you think I haven't noticed? She said birthday _present_, do you know what that means? Dean says she gave him a hearty snog for Christmas!'

'you are _unbelievable, Ronald Weasley_!'

'fighting like a married couple!' George grinned at his twin, both watching the almost humourous scene from around the corner. 'well, it won't be long now, and they'll have an excuse. What type of wedding do you think they'd have?'

'decorated with books, floating cats, maroon jumpers and bright orange Chudley Cannons quilts. Oh, and the cake would be made of corn beef, since he likes it so d'you think, classy enough? Although, our brother's such a bloody prat, he won't ever have the courage to even give her a peck on the cheek. She did it, and that was two years ago, so why can't he?' George whispered back at him.

Fred laughed and began to dance around, quietly singing ' _I can hear the bells ring..._' whilst George chucked a piece of cake for Crookshanks onto the floor, who had seemed quite horrified by the words _floating _and _cats_ in the same sentance.

Mr. Weasley came up the stairs again with his book, laughing histerically and rambling on coming out with things like 'genious, these muggles! Great jokes!' and 'What do you get...if you cross a spaceman?' and wheezing, doubling over with laughter. 'park in it, man! Geddit?'

'No, dad. I don't, but be quiet, there's an interesting scene just around the corner.' Fred raised and eyebrow.

'Park in...' he trailed off and ended up laughing some more.

'I think drinking anything aside water does things to him.'George whispered to his twin, who nodded, looking rather scared.

'I'm going in.' Ron declared after another glance at the door and ran for it before Hermione could stop him. 'Ronald! Come back h- Ron! No, leave them!' Hermione sprinted after him, thundering down the corridor.

'Oh yes, I can definately see it now. _Hermione Jean Weasley_. Suits her well.' Fred sniggered.

'It's _destined_.' George smiled wickedly at the staircase the two had recently just trampled up. 'oh yeah,' Fred stopped dancing and sat down 'and how d'you work that one out, then? You're beginning to sound like Luna.'

'the only other person who calls him _Ronald_ is mum, and if _she_ married him, then I think I'd leave town, dye my hair and rename myself to something awful. Preferably a female name; I'd like a change.' George grinned and Fred laughed loudly 'that's more like it,'

It was true. They were _destined_.


End file.
